ELEVEN

 Here are some suggestions to boost your level of self-esteem wherever it's at right now:

1. Stop hanging out with people out of loyalty instead of intention.

Are you hanging out with people because they'd be offended if you didn't? That's one of the worst reasons to maintain a friendship. 

Your friends should inspire and uplift you. And you should be excited to share with them your life goals - because they encourage you every step of the way.

2. Start employing your secret talents.

Gifts you stop using (writing, teaching, designing, photography the list goes on…) will make you feel miserable over time. 

Your skills exist to be used and to bring joy to everyone who encounters them! What can you pick back up - just for you?

3. Put yourself first.

Gabor Mate said, “If a refusal saddles you with guilt, while consent leaves resentment in its wake, opt for the guilt. Resentment is soul suicide.”

If you have to disappoint yourself or someone else, let it be someone else.

4. Quit trying to keep up with the "cool crowd."

It’s always changing anyway. 

5. Stop procrastinating.

Procrastination is directly related to our feelings of self-worth. 

Why use delay tactics on something that will, in fact, bring you good? Get busy. What are you waiting for, exactly? It's never the "right time."

6. Give yourself permission to walk away.

Who or what do you need to leave? The unknown is scary, yes—but nothing changes if nothing changes.

7. Ask for more.

People who ask, get. It's that simple. But if you don't feel deserving, you're probably not asking enough. What can you test? Asking for a favor from a friend? Asking for an overdue raise? Asking for help at work? There's strength (and major wins!) in asking.

8. Don't blame-shift.

Who are you blaming, when you should really be accountable to yourself? Accountability brings you places, blame doesn't.

9. Stop believing you're not ready.

Hey, guess what? You're dying. Yep. Every day you go to bed, it's one less of your total days here on Earth. You were born for this moment in time. And it’s all temporary anyway. Go for yours! 

10. Avoid criticizing others.

It doesn't really feel good, does it? That's because we do it when we're feeling bad about ourselves. I’ve never regretted biting my tongue instead of saying something that wasn’t nice. 

11. Remember self-compassion.

Self-compassion actually matters more than self-esteem. It's about being kind and gentle with yourself no matter what. And that means being patient, loving, and accepting of yourself… even if you know there’s more work you’d like to do on yourself.

Try approving of yourself a bit more. 

Remember what you like about yourself: "I'm good at things! I do a badass tripod headstand! I'm not perfect in my marriage, but I'm loving and committed. I’m a loyal friend."

Susie Moore