The First Time I Took A Plane

The first time I took a plane, I was 19. I was married, living in a strange, lonely little town at the tip of civilization. I was very homesick, lonely and pregnant. I remember being scared. My first flight was all alone. I was going home! That's what I kept saying to myself. "I am going home to where I know people."
I remember little else about the flight, except... The woman I sat next to only spoke Spanish and that I used every barf bag on the entire plane! No lie, well many though! I was surprised that the well dressed Spanish speaking woman knew I was pregnant.
Looking back, in retrospect, who couldn't tell that I was pregnant, too young and truly in need of a hug.
As I flew over the clouds today, I remembered that first, so long ago. I wish I could go back in time and hug that darling girl. And I would whisper in her ear..."Run now, don't look back, there is more out there"
But, then again, I ended up with four of the most beautiful, wonderful children. And I like who I turned out to be.
I went on an airplane all alone again today. My thoughts were mire "Do I pay for the extra insurance on the rental car or not", and how will my kids do on their weekend of firsts without me.
All is good! Life is good... We should all fly more often!

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A FRIENDS CHARACTER

Sometimes things happen that are completely out of character and we need to step back and watch it evolve. If we rush to fix it we may miss the "Aha" moment. And in doing so we may miss so much more!
I received a text from one of my friends today. We don't chat all the time, but we catch up on a regular basis. Although he likes to tell me that I don't know him at all, I think I know him rather well. So when the first couple of texts came in I was pretty sure I could pinpoint his mood; over worked, stressed, overflowing plate and way too much Mr Nice Guy! That fits him much of the time!
As the texts progressed I realized he was incoherent of the words I sent. He just needed to be heard. He was venting, saying things he needed to say out loud (well even text can be heard loud and clear). The more texts i received, I started to panic. The things my friend was saying were so out of character, so hard and pointed. He isn't like this, even when he vents about his ex, he is never harsh,
So as the texts came in, aimed at me, but not for me, I thought 1. What does he think I have done. 2. Is he driving drunk...it's far too early in the day. 3. Has someone taken his beloved iPhone...... If any of these options were correct, I needed to make sure he was alright.
When he answered my call. He sounded just like my friend, but as I pressed the issue, out came the story behind the texts! I knew this particular soap opera drama from our past conversations. And yes it had escalated to a point that had pushed my friend to a defensive point. I have not known him to reach this point. And rather than jumping in to aid and fix, I silently listened.
As I did, not only did I hear the drama that was faced, but also the feeling, the friendship with the drama patient, and the remedy that he was going to use to stave off the issue.
This man has been there for others when ever there is a need. He gives the advise of a counselor, and the wisdom of a Guru. But today he gave me something more. He let me be there for him.
Sometimes things happen that are totally out of character, and maybe that's when we see who our friends really are.
I know this friend, better than he thinks I do.....he has earned his Super Hero status in my book, by always being a friend. But today he let me be his friend!
Thank you SM.

My Personal Haven

Today I cleaned my house. Not a big deal, I do that regularly. I like it tidy. I like it to feel and look good. I am not a neat freak nor am I anal about my house. But I like it clean! If someone stops over unexpectedly, I want to know that I will not die of embarrassment as they walk through my doorway!
I would like to say I am good at multi tasking, but the honest description of my cleaning method, would be that I am easily sidetracked. So I end up doing ten things at a time. Normally all the things do get finished, but by the end I am exhausted.
On the weekends that my children spend with their father, I try to get it all done (the dusting, bathrooms, shutters, laundry, bedding, floors, yard work). (I even washed the lightbulbs in my bathroom today... okay maybe a bit anal)
But, there are areas in my home that I tend to neglect continually. My room is one of these areas. But today it is in great order!!! (A friend stopped in this very afternoon and I had no hesitation about letting her come right in my room to see something).
But no one, other than my children, ever gets to see my closet. I have a very large walk in closet. It actually rivals the size of Meg's bedroom. But for some unknown reason I stash, toss, shove, dump and totally neglect this one personal haven in my house.
Well, no longer! It has been cleaned, decluttered and organized. Bags for charity and bags for recycle have been filled and hauled out. All clothing is hung or folded. All shoes have a home...I had no idea how many pairs I truly have! I now have places to organize gift wrapping, gift collection, and project organization as well! It is a very large closet after all!!!
I am delighted with my efforts, and once again I love my closet! And yes I am totally exhausted!


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Trucks

I have a thing for old trucks! It's one of those things I have liked since childhood. But as an adult, my like has turned to passion. The make and model don't matter. The restoration just makes it more sweet. There is such a neat feeling when viewing an amazing piece of Americana that has been lovingly restored to it's grandeur. These old beauties are truly works of art! The lines, windows, headlamps! The hum and rumble! I have both a reverence and a red hot lust for these boy toys! I would love to own a 1936 Ford, mmmmmmm! But you know me.... I would like to touch them all!


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Leading Role

I believe that life is about happiness! The joy we give and the joy we get from those we love.

With out working on our own happiness we are not living!

We all need to take the leading role in our own lives. We all need to play the part of the main character in our world, have a say in the direction and the outcome. This will let us be a wonderful supporting actor in those lives around us. If we are not happy with the part we play, we need to tweak it, change it, perfect it. (Fake it till you make it.) Till the part is the one that makes us happy, makes us feel complete. The part that lets you be the best person you can be!

We all need to work on being happy.

It's ok....

I use to talk with God all the time. An ongoing conversation. When things were good and not so good. I felt like we worked together. Somewhere along the way, though, I started to feel like he was checking in from somewhere far away, a long distance relationship if you will. I was still faithful. I still did what I was supposed to do. I felt alone as my reality stared to fall apart, I kept doing what was right, and asking for help. Each time I asked, he would always say "It will be ok." I went for years living with "It will be ok." When you are fed that, time and time again, you tend to lose sight of what ok is, or looks like or how it feels. Yet somehow when the fork in my life happened, I was at peace, I felt good about the choices I made, all the while still hearing only "It will be ok."
I saw a councilor for a while after I stared on my new path. I wanted a road map to the future, he wanted me to explore the darkened paths of my youth. He taught me some amazing things about me. Things I could never have seen differently on my own. I did not grasp those things until some time after I told him I would not be going back. When I saw him the last time, he asked "How are you now?"... I said "I am ok."
I realized then, that maybe I had been waiting for God to help fix my issues. But maybe God was preparing me to fix them on my own.
And sure enough, it's ok, I am OK!



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Dear Best Friend

I love your thoughts! Always...always


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The Obsession

I am in love.....

from the moment I wake up in the morning, to the minute I fall asleep at night.

I have an obsession. I didn't think I would. I know others who do. I thought they where freaky! Now I know that once you get a hold of it, once your fingers start the search....its very difficult to leave alone. Its all you want to concentrate on, explore, fill your time with. I know where it is at all time, I panic if I let it out of sight for even a minute. If my mind wonders, on children or work or some other distraction, and then I regain my senses, I feel like a child rediscovering the most wonderful Christmas gift ever! It was meant to be just a tool, a needed thing...not a thing that I need.

Yet....here I am.....totally in LOVE with.....my iPhone. I may need to seek help...But John already sent me the site to sign up for classes!! YAY!!!

SUMMER CHAOS

Today is the first day of the last 4 weeks of SCHOOL! Now is when time starts to go faster and faster. Leading up to mass chaos I know the kids are looking forward to summer break...

But I am NOT. I would be a very happy mom if we had year round school. Who was this crazy person who thought up 12 weeks of freedom for the children? They end up staying up all night,

then sleeping all day. They do next to nothing as far as being productive. Its like they forget how to do chores, not like they where ever very good at doing them on their own before.

In my house they have zones that are their responsibility. They hate the word ZONE!! I try to mix it up so everyone gets a chance to be responsible for a different area each week. But I always have to lose my mind before anyone gets a clue and tidies anything anyway.

I have even planned summer lessons and learning opportunities. They don't like that AT ALL.

However, I have figured out how to enforce the lack of effort, if the "B" word is ever, ever uttered.....my poor children get an extra chore. (the B word = BOARD)

I need to put on my "Awesome Magical Sparkly Mom Hat" and start making plans for the 12 weeks of uncensored freedom.

OH MY STINKING HECK....I don't love summer break!

Letters from Children

"Dear Fellow Neighbors across the wall.

A tragic accident happened today

evan was stupid enough to through the

bat across the wall.

Please send it back.

P.S. Please smell note!"

We love to listen to the little children who

live behind us. They are delightful!

A few times a week we find a ball or toy

in our yard and toss them back over.

This week we started getting notes

as well. I am assuming the orange marker

they are writing with is yummy, I wont

tell them that it smells like grass by the

time I read it!

The simple joys in life are the very best!

Perfect For Me

I found the one thing in this world that was perfect for me.

I saw with my eyes but I knew with my heart.

All the dreams and wishes since I was a little girl, all rolled

up into one person. All the desires and dreams I have had

as a woman. All there, in one man.

I knew that this one piece would make me complete,

yet knowing full well it was just out of my reach, not mine

to have. Hoping, wanting, needing, dreaming. Praying.

I should have known it was too good to be real. Yet I let

my heart go. I gave it way, I would give it to him again

and again and again. Time after time.

Not mine to have. But for a moment I was totally loved.

Never before have I ever felt so totally loved, cared for,

thought of, cherished. I felt safe and comfortable, like I

could breath and dream. He has every quality I ever

have admired, every attribute I would ever hope for.

I gave him my heart, and he filled it. Then he gave it back.

Only showing me that the choices he makes are the right

choices, making him once again the perfect man for me.

I love you Keith. I always will. Always....

Eye Bling

Meg had brought a note home from the school recently, suggesting we get her eyes checked.

So, since this is something I have only done for myself once in my lifetime, I figured it was about time to take the kiddos.

So this week I took my two youngest with me to see the optometrist.

I really like our eye doctor, I recomend him to everyone!

I went in first. Maturity, as he puts it, is taking its tole on my vision ...

its not the first thing to go, its okay.

Mark was next. His eyes are not 20/20, but darn close!

Miss Meg was last in line for the eye chart.

As he came out of the office, the doctor asked how I felt about having her pupils dilated.

I am not real clear on why this is done, but he put my eyes through it and I survived,

so go ahead.

As the doctor went back into his office he cackled a menacing laugh,

and said he would do his best at torturing her eyes.

After the torture session, Meg looks at all the glasses. And the doctor comes to speak with me. He asked me if she had regular head aches, I said no.

He proceeded to tell me...and I quote

"Her eyes are Jacked Up".

Now, please understand, this man is delightful, just totally fun to be around.

But, I so was not anticipating those words ever being used in reference to my Angel!

But low and behold. It is true. The poor thing, just like her sweet sister, tends toward the lazy eye thing. But with glasses it can be corrected before adulthood.

So... we helped her pick out a sporty/party girl pair of bright pink frames.

We will go back to pick up her neweye BLING in a week.

I am very sorry I never took any of my children to see the optometrist before now.

But like I said, I had only been once in my life time,

and was not aware that this is a HAVE TO! Now I know!

The best part of the family outing, was not that we found the really awesome frames for Cookie, or that I will be sporting contacts from here forward. The very Bestest part was the fact that all three of us were seen for an office visit, Meg's glasses were ordered, and the Total Bill came to....

$46.00!!! WOOHOO!!!

I do so love my insurance company!!! www.thevillageeyecare.com Dr Baird

The People In Our (Work) Family

I know I have said it before, but I will say it again...
I love the people I work with!
I am blessed in the fact that I enjoy my job,
but more to the point,
I enjoy all the people I spend the work week with.
Our ages are varied, our life styles too.
We are all at different intersections in our lives.
We know enough about each other to ask about family,
events and happenings.
We are concerned about each other, support each other,
and care about each other.
Our work environment is very much a family.
One of us got married last year, we have had two new babies
born in our family, and a grand baby.
School and advancement are encouraged and celebrated as well.
I love to listen to our trainer's stories
( NO ONE tells a story like her, NO ONE!).
Our superiors are part of our family too;
they are our mentors, our grown ups,
the go out on a limb for us,
they are our biggest cheer leaders.
I have friends here at work.
And even though I would rather be home with my own,
I love my work family!

Jessette.....This name makes my heart happy.

I love that it is unique.

I love that it is beautiful. I love that it fits my daughter so perfectly.

My Jessette is so talented, so creative, and so amazing.

I am in awe of her.

She is working on her bachelors at the Phoenix Art Institute.

Her talent for art is delightful.

She has always taken the path less traveled.

And she is so much better for it.

And all those that choose to be near her

are so much better for knowing her.

Her head is on straight, her goals are set,

she is hard working and she notices the little things.

Her passions are deep and her temper is quick

(she was born with bright red hair).

She is just amazing!

She took the next step in her life last weekend.

And although it caused growing pains for out little family,

I couldn't be happier!

In fact I have been seen doing the Happy Mom Dance

0at regular intervals.

She moved out on her own.... with her best friend!

I was sad to have one more of my babies move out.

Yet she is happy, she is ready to be the grown up.

I rejoice in her maturity, in her twenty something wisdom.

I celebrate her achievement of the next path in life.

She can always come back home, so can he for that matter.

I love them both.

But the fact that my baby girl has grown up,

and is such a wonderful person is truly a

Proud Parenting Moment!

I WANT GREEN.

Don't get me wrong, I love so many things about the desert.

I love the Sunsets,

the smell of the Rain in Desert,

the Monsoon Storms,

the amazing Dust Storms.

But we have no lush green.

I want big fluffy trees, and miles and miles of green.

This is my friends land in Kentucky.

A month ago the same spot was covered in snow.

If this is what snow can do, bring it on!

Because I WANT GREEN!!!

I learned to use my new hedge trimmer this week. In my front yard, I pruned, trimmed, hedged, raked, swept and watered. I learned again that all things worth doing in life take time, thought and effort. That to achieve the results you want you will get sore, messy and tired. That what you are eliminating will fit in the trash can (two for this project). And that satisfaction comes from the amount of passion you put into the job at hand. Although my new tool was pretty much self explanatory, I did read the owners handbook. I think all new experiences need to have a handbook, with diagrams, no matter how simple the project. (And although I will never again need to pay someone else to make my yard look presentable, I still believe that yard work is a Man Job. It made a mess of my nails!)

Birthday

Brighton Lachoneus Keppner

Born at 12:45pm January 6th 2011

Weighing in at 7lb 14oz, 20" long!

I think Brighton is the perfect birthday gift for

his big brother Xavier, who's 2nd birthday is

on January 8th!!!

I am very grateful to my daughter Emmaly

and her sweet husband, my son, Trent

for giving me Grandchildren! My goal in life

has always been, to be the Grandma!

I love my children with all my heart, but there

is a special place there reserved for

Grandchildren! They make life sweet!!!

Isn't he Beautiful!!!

Chicken and Corn Chowder

Chicken and Corn Chowder

3 Cooked Chicken Breasts, diced into 1" cubes

2 cans Cream of Chicken Soup

8 cups Chicken Broth

1 16oz pk Frozen Corn

2 4.5oz boxes BC Julienne Potatoes w/Cheese Sauce

Cook and dice chicken breasts. Combine soup, broth and cheese sauce in a pot.

Mix well, and bring to a boil.

Add frozen corn, stir, let come back to a boil.

Reduce heat to medium low, add diced chicken and dehydrated potatoes.

Stir occasionally, cook for 20 minutes.

Serve with crusty bread.

New Years Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions

vLearn Something New

Faith- Relationship with God and Christ; Read Scriptures, Pray

Study Thomas Jefferson {Monticello} and Benjamin Franklin

vEnjoy More

Time with Kids; Individual and team time

Time for Me; personal and grown up

vHealth

Workout Routine; Plan and stick to a solid routine every day

Meditation; Regularly

vLove Others

More time with kids

Notes and letters to others

ARK

vTake Pictures

Of Family

Of my favorite places

vOrganization

Car Maintenance

House/Garage Organization/Routine

vSkills

Menu Planning

Recipe Files

Sewing Projects

v Simplify (Personal)

Self Pampering

Romance; Take the Time, Let Him Know He Is Loved

Hike/Explore/Indulge Regularly

Seeing things clearly!

The past few month have been very educational for me. I have learned so much about life and about me. There have been quite a few books I have added to my good reads list. I can truly say I have changed the way I see things.

I love my children! Is it possible to say that too often or too loudly? Last night I was asked who my hero's are. I ran through all the people in my life.... the answer is my children. They are so unique and strong. They are loyal and loving. The strength and teamwork they exhibit is amazing. They love each other, take care of each other, learn from each other. I am proud of each of them.

I have learned that spontaneity is something that can be seen total differently depending on who is viewing it. To some it means the lack of responsibility and no regard for reality. For me, it is the reward for a firm hold on reality and the constant attention to responsibilities. Sometimes I need it just as much as I need to breath.

I have been told by many that the Law of Attraction is something I needed to research. I have read many book on the subject. And I can tell you that whether it was to help me reach my goals or to improve my attitude, the books never hit home for me. I just didn't get what they where trying to tell me. Then I read "The Secret Laws of Attraction" by Talane Miedaner. I recommend this to everyone. It helped me to see its okay to want.... to give.... to change! I never knew that I don't need permission... but that all of this is OKAY. I am the only one that can fill my needs. That I am complete and whole. I didn't know. I though I was waiting for someone to complete me, to make me better. I don't need anyone else. I fulfill myself, I don't need anyone else to do it for me. When I have a need, I can fill it, or request it from someone else if I wish. I feel empowered and my heart and mind are, for the first time in my life, at ease. I am grateful for this knowledge.

I have also read "Finding It" by Valerie Bertinelli. Amazing!! I relate to so many of her experiences. The order of which I am doing my self exploration is not the same as hers, yet I am feeling mentally and emotionally healthy, for the very first time ever. I recommend this book too.

I have learned that taking inventory of what you want is a good thing. You may be working at something that down deep, you really don't want. Just because it is the next thing on your list, the thing you thought you should be working toward. It's okay to reevaluate, let go and move on.
My friend John has always told me, 'It's okay to say NEXT ... then move on'.
I finally get it! (On so many levels.)

The fork in my life, has lead to many more uncharted roads. I know that this journey is life long and I am so grateful for that. At this point, I can say that I have the equipment and knowledge to make it an awesome adventure.

I have been to the bottom, I took inventory there and cleaned it all out. I am grateful for my past. I like who I am because of my experiences. But oh my gosh, I am so excited for each and every day, for the little and the big. I am glad for those who accompany me; no matter how long they walk with me. Stepping stones! It is an amazing thing, once you let go of what is not important, everything becomes clear and attainable!

(I have been in my home for a year now (11/13), and it has been a Wonderful Year! I love my roommates! I am happy!!!)