Relinquishing Control

Each one of us wants control over our lives. To make the choices, to choose the things that make us...us. But we all give that control away, in verrying degrees, to others.
We let them dictate how we feel, what we do, how we live our lives. We give them the ability, even the right to manipulate our actions, thoughts, happiness ... our way of life.
I have asked each of my children if they will smoke cigarettes. The have each said no. I asked them how they know they won't. They each have told me, they already made that choice.
So is that the key in setting your boundries? Setting our choice,our own personal controle, on any area? To set those personal controls prior to the area becoming an issue. Will we stick by our oun desire? Not to be persuaded by someone elses influence over us.
Would that give us the power to not be affected by others actions? The power to not feel the emotions of someone elses carelessness or thoughtlessness or hurtfulness? Would this give us the power to make and follow through with our goals in life; our personal happiness?
Would taking on this personal control give us the power to be who we want to be?
Just in one day, I saw those around me being totally affected by others in their lives. Choices that others were carelessly making, that cause pain, greef, low self esteem, powerlessness, sadness and self doubt. Why?
Perhaps we each need to take back personal control. Take back the power to be who we are. Stop letting others dictate our lives. We each need to make the choices for our selves, prior to facing the issue. So when that stumbling block is imposed in our life path, right infront of us, we will be able to step over it. Not letting others to disrupt who we are or how we feel about ourselves.
No one else has the right to cause pain, hurt, insecurity or lack of self in us. Let's take back that personal control, our personal power. Our right to be ourselves.

Words of a Wise Woman

Sometimes your knight in shinning armor is just a retard in tin foil.

Summer Solstice

Tuesday June 21st 2011
Twi: 4:50am
Sunrise: 5:19am
Sunset: 7:41pm
Twi: 8:10pm
Moonrise: 11:34pm
Moonset: 11:04am
Day length: 14h 22
Sunny     
High: 108° F 
Low: 79° F 
Precip: 0% 

Sol + stice derives from a combination of Latin words meaning "sun" + "to stand still." As the days lengthen, the sun rises higher and higher until it seems to stand still in the sky.

As a major celestial event, the Summer Solstice results in the longest day and the shortest night of the year.

I don't know much about it, but with Goddesses and fairies, ancient folklore, mystery and romance, what's not to love? 
I believe if we added more of the charm and romantic notions back into our everyday culture that modernization has lost, we would have less stress, more interaction, more happiness and just plain "More" to our lives. 

I have the day off, so I plan on making the most of the longest day of the year. After all there are never enough reasons to celebrate!

The best parts of today!

Watching the sun rise as I drove to work. Having lunch with a friend. Finding the only other person on earth that dislikes Panda Express the way I do. Having friends text me all day. My kids being loud and fun, because they are kids. Celtic Radio on Pandora. Being reminded of "A magnificent compliment" that was once given. And a new one received today. Strawberries. My daughter enjoying new hair fashion and make up!!! Clean bedding, smooth legs and the hopes of a sleeping pill!

Lunar Views

I have a new app for my iPhone. That gives me lots of information about the moon. I rather like it!

And Google did a great article on the blood red Lunar Eclipse

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gpvfNwwj0rfwmPMJrBMyV5LdXiQg?docId=CNG.f1c67c52d632ad8008211fead114e14a.3e1

But even with all the great technology that I have at my finger tips. The view of the Moon tonight was the very best from the hammock in my back yard!

Just Saying!

The things that matter

Sometimes I wish that I could cut through all the unimportant things in life. And just give my attention and attendance to the truly important things.
What would life be like if the petty could be done away with, and the things that really matter were what we focused on.
Service, kindness, generosity, love. Wouldn't those give way to endless amounts of joy, a constant state of bliss? I want to live there! Yes, I want that, plain and simple!


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A reason to keep my cloths on.

I never have a problem falling to sleep, all I have to do is sit still and I am gone. But I can never stay asleep. I am very lucky to ever get more than four hours of sleep a night.
Last night, I fell asleep around 8, and woke up nearly eight hours later!!! Maybe the missing ingredient is that I was still dressed. If I had known I could sleep so well, I would go to bed fully dressed every night!!! Who knew?!


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When You Make Average Great, Your Dreams Become A Reality!



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There are things I want to do in my lifetime. Things that I have not taken the opportunity to do up to this point. Some things are big and some are little. Some I want to do alone and some with others. I think that knowing what I want to do, expereance, enjoy, helps guide my path. Seeing the list, and it grows far faster than it depletes, helps me set my goals, choose the direction I take my attitude.
I chose to be happy. I chose to do the things that bring others and myself joy. I chose to feel liked, to be loved, to be happy every day.
I have chosen to surround myself with those who bring out the best in me. I will strive to serve, care for, love and delight those who are around me. I will make each day a good day. I will set goals and strive to be the best I can be each day. This is my life, I want to be happy, to enjoy, to be loved and give love. Simple!

More than what we know...

One of my dearest friends lost her dad on June 1st. She was devastated, and our hearts ache for her.
But with in that week, she also lost an uncle and a cousin. Three good men within days, moved on to do other things.
Last night my son and I talked about "Bigger Things". The "what we believe and I don't know what I believe" conversation. It always makes me long to know more. A few weeks ago Keith and I talked about God, and our perspective on the Bigger Picture. He is Baptist, I am Mormon, our views are different. But if you take what we each believe and boil it all down to the basics, I think we all believe the same elements are true.
So as my heart hurts for Christy and her sweet families losses, I do believe that there is so much more than we know. That the big picture is that beautiful mosaic, made up of little and big life events. And that the journey started long before we arrived here, and lasts long after we depart.....
I think there will be far more than what we know!
(I think that the three great men in Christy's family were needed else where. All at the same time. A new task needed to be started, and the welcome home party couldn't start until they were there together. It makes me want to see pictures of the family reunion on the other side!!)

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A Thing of Beauty

A clean and organized garage is a thing of beauty! Not only is there a place for everything, but there is room to set up the Muscle Monolith and plenty of space for Frvesnt!
Life is Good!


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Van Issues

As a single woman, there are some things that scare me.
Car trouble is the top on my list. And as always, what you fear bites you in the butt.
Last week as I was leaving my daughters place she said "Mom your van is leaking". I told her it would be fine it was just the power steering leak I have been dealing with forever. But half way
home I realized the temperature gauge was on HOT. So I took the next exit. I parked in a well lit, busy, visible spot. I popped the hood and took a look. I filled the overflow with water and feeling like I had everything under control, I called Steve. He always comes to save me. He and Debby came, he tinkered and looked, did some auto wonder guy stuff, said some crazy stuff about raw eggs in the radiator, then lead the way to the boy store.(I always wonder if the men who work and shop at the auto parts store are the last of a lost breed of stud muffins....sigh) We bought this magic powder in a little cylinder. He dumped it in and added h2o I made it home and then to work ... Almost. The temp was up, bur the water was still in there. By the time I entered the gates at work, my van died. Started back up, but it was not good, not good at all!
I gave in and called Bobby's husband Joe. He told me things to check. Steve texted, said he thought it was the water pump, my heart sank. After work I headed to Joe's garage. He took a look. Lifted it and took a healthy look from all angles.
He said it could be the water pump, but kept looking. He said I was the luckiest woman on earth, the went about removing two hoses. I spent time with Bobbie and Joe removed the worn and cracked hoses. When all was said and done, I spent under $100.00, Joe fixed my van and the martinez family sent me home with dinner too!! I can not tell you how delighted, and how in deep my gratitude is. My van is running just fine now. And I am touched by all the help!

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Location:Van hero?'

No Bake Cookies

No-Bake Chocolate, Peanut Butter & Oatmeal Cookies

Yield: 2 to 3 dozen cookies

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cooling Time: 30 minutes

½ cup (1 stick) butter

2 cups granulated sugar

½ cup milk

4 tablespoons cocoa powder

½ cup peanut butter

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3 cups quick-cooking oats

1. Add the first four ingredients (through the cocoa powder) to a 4-quart saucepan.

2. Bring to a rolling boil and let boil for 1 minute.

3. Remove from heat.

4. Stir in the peanut butter and vanilla until smooth, then stir in the oats.

5. Drop by heaping tablespoons onto wax paper-lined baking sheets.

6. Let cool until set.

Some Of My Favorite Things

The wind in the trees     Sunsets    The desert in the rain     Children laughing     Cookies    Traveling     Shoes

Sugar scrub massages      800 thread count sheets     Lemon pasta     Jessette's art     Mark's music    

Meg's stories     Emmaly's Babies     Cole's instaboil water     Trent's love of the game     Xavier     Brighton     KY Barns     Architecture    Fresh baked bread     Live music     Real Estate     Family Dinners  
Holidays with friends     Ball Games     Camping    Drives    Mr. Sneazerbowser     Fresh cut grass     lap top    Oak Creek     Clean Laundry    Lemon aid    Coco Moo     Entertaining     Sewing     Hammock Time     Water     Spring Flowers     Fall leaves     Singing with kids     Dah's food song     iPhone  
 Long Distance Calls    IM Family   Getting cards in the mail     Saving money     Southern Twang     Friends     Chocolate     Email     Monsoon storms     Cousins     Victoria Secrets     Hiking     Something New  
Play lists      Blogging     Face book      Grandbabies    Chick flicks     Online shopping     Sun rises     Pillows     Martinis     Crunchy     Old Trucks     Car shows     Picnics     Slow Dancing     Drag racing     Projects     History    Reading     Cooking     Burgundy    Lists     Coffee Cabin     Serendipity     Frvesnt  
Girls Night Out    Green fields      Family Snuggle Time     Forests     Tractors     Peg board     Love notes     Giggling     Secrets     Holding hands     Neighbors     Beaches     Sisters     Making out     Birthdays     Playing in the sprinklers    Parties  Indoor s'mores    Kisses and Hugs     Smiling     Being Loved  
Stories Retold

Boston .... A Wild Ride

        I love Boston, and I know that you love me!

Muscle Monolith

Big blessings sometimes come from out of nowhere!
This week a truly beloved coworker offered me a Home Gym. It belonged to her son. He was moving and needed to let it go. She put the offer out there and I took it. Not having seen it, I knew my boy would be in heaven. We had a very narrow window of time to get it moved. But I didn't worry. I knew my boy could just through it in the back of the van and then set it up.
Yesterday was our day to bring it on home!

OH MY STINKING HECK!!!!
I had NO IDEA it was like the Hugest                                             Wonder Workout Machine....EVER!
It took nearly 3 hours for my Boy, his Band Bud, and my dear friends Honey to disassemble the "Muscle Monolith", and two trips to get it all home! Where it is now all in pieces in my garage! Waiting to be reassembled and used to build Big Buff Boy Bodies!!!

Girl's Camp Home Coming

Cookie came home from Girls Camp on Wednesday! It was her first year at camp. I was delighted that not

only had she enjoyed it completely but just by looking at her you could see that it had been so good for her.

Mom's request: Leave everything in the garage to be washed.

Cookies Request: S'mores and Blue Box Mac n Cheese!

So as we sat at the kitchen counter listening to stories of Girls Camp 2011. We roasted marshmallows over votive candles. Created perfect fireside treats. 

Remembering that Dessert comes first sometimes!

Then we finished dinner off with a staple from everyones pantry but mine, Kraft Mac and Cheese.

My Cookie was happy! But I am sure I was more happy! 

She got just what she wanted for her homecoming dinner. 

I got to watch my baby delight in the wonder of Girls Camp just like I did so many years ago!

Road Signs

 Some times don't you feel like the path you trod is the same one you have been on for quite some time, and that its getting boring? Then there are the times when you feel like this is a brand new road and you cant wait to go on the test drive. Other times the avenue we travel down is unsure or even scary. Maybe we need to just   read the signs and push forward! Then again, maybe just tossing caution to the wind and running a muck every once in a while is the best plan. After all just who did put these road signs out? And can we trust them?

Celebrate Success

My son wants his license. He has been driving for over a year, on a learner's permit. He is a very good driver.
My rule has always been that if you are going to be a responsible licensed driver, you pay for your own insurance.
So for Mark, his grades had to be brought up, so he could get a job, so he could pay for his insurance, so he could get his license. Well, as all young people, when there is a will there is a way. His grades improved, he got a job and he went to take the driving test. Due to a wicked instructor and a three point turn, Mark failed the test.
My son has cause to need his license next week. So today we went to practice that three pointer. At the MVD, there was another youth practicing the same three point trick. As the girl repeatedly tried the move and came up short, Mark watched and analyzed. As the girl succeeded, Mark said, "I want to cheer for her!"
I wonder, what the world would be like if we cheered for each others successes, both large and small.
My son practiced the turn over and over. He got it down! There in the empty parking lot, next to the Sheriffs department, I cheered! I did the happy mom dance. I celebrated his success.
We will go back in a day or so to let him redo the driving test.
(I tried that wicked three point turn, there in the parking lot, with the black cones marking my goal. And you know what.... Gosh darn... It's a good thing I already have my license, because I sure couldn't make it between those stupid cones.)

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The love of my children

My Cookie 
left me this love note 
when she went 
away to girls camp.
She is so delightful! 

Enjoy the Moments

I came home from my weekend in Utah, thinking I had my world figured out.

 I thought I had every needed element. Silly me! 

When all is right in my world, thats when it starts to unravel. 

Everything is good, everything is fine. 

I just need to realize that I am not in charge of the big picture. 

and I need to be happy with the now, because we never know

what will come. I though some things in life where a given.

But I have learned that that is never the case. 

So I will take the moments and find joy. 

Knowing that what I want in life,  may never be. 

Some of the things I LOVED about the weekend!

1. Having my Son drive me to the air port.
2. Watching the sun rise over the mountains from the terminal.
3. Having 46 rows of seats on the plane and only 30 passengers, no problem finding a window seat.
4. The feeling of the air plane lifting off the ground.
5. Renting an economy car for $42.00 for three days!
6. Getting upgraded to a Grand Marque for $42.00 for three days!!
7. GPS on my iPhone.
8. Seeing a dear friend for the first time in 5 years and it feeling like we hadn't missed a day.
9. Everything is green. Even the medians on the freeway.
10. Perfect weather.
11. Snow on the mountains, even though back at home its in the 90s.
12. Homemade Peanut butter Chocolate bars.
13. Old schools that have Wonderful Charm.
14. Viewing old houses and wonderful architecture.
15. Having kids at home taking care of each other.
16. The view from the Bountiful temple. 
17. Having the time to think and ponder.
18. Having a friend call you, at just the right time, to help you digest what you are pondering.
19. Hugs from boys that I love, who went and got big, but are still my boys.
20. Feeling at home.
21. Knowing my son will  have a party in my house while I am away, and not having to worry.
22. My babies first trip to Girls Camp, with out me there. But knowing she is in wonderful hands.
23. Breakfast with the Bride.
24. Embarrassing the Bride to be with fun honeymoon treasures!
25. Helping the Bride get ready for her big day.
26. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.
27. Watching the new family interact.
28. Seeing Emma sharing boy info with her new mom to be.
29. Seeing the groom pace, although he would tell you he was just staying busy.
30. Watching how the step kids all interact so well.
31. Seeing a family pull a wedding together so beautifully.
32. Getting to deliver the wedding cake.
33. How Grandpas back yard was the perfect place for the wedding.
34. Little boys playing in the dirt, and finding fun bugs.
35. Little girls practicing holding the train. 
36. Two young men walking their mom down the isle.
37. The groom kept touching the brides elbow as the Bishop spoke.
38. How happy all the young people in the wedding party were. 
39. How happy the Bride looked. It was delightful!
40. First kisses as Husband and Wife!
41. Happy family pictures.
42. Cutting of the cake.
43. How proud Grandpa was so proud of each of his grand children and great grandchildren.
44. Strawberry and lime slushy!
45. Clean up was done by 6pm.
46. My son posted a video note to me on FB, just to keep tabs.
47. My new granddog, Harley Quinne!
48. Trees everywhere.
49. Having a place to stay, where I felt at home.
50. Early morning tourist trip.
51. No freeway traffic on Sunday morning!
52. Walking through gardens.
53. Time for Pondering.
54. Feeling at peace on my chosen path.
55. Blogging from my phone.
56. Purple Irises.
57. Wonderful Victorian houses.
58. Winding roads.
59. Views from the mountains.
60. Rainy travel.
61. Early morning shopping.
62. Car chargers.
63. Parks everywhere.
64. Berries for breakfast.
65. Slate roofs. 
66. Chatting with friends no matter where you are in the world.
67. Wonderful Architecture ( I know, but I can say that twice, I love it!!!)
68. A penpal that knows he can say it like it is, and I will still listen. Even when I want to hate him.
69. Seeing a glimpse of what you are searching for, when you know you have no clue yet
70. Pedicure...even though no one saw my feet.
71. Potholes in the street, so I can appreciate the roads at home.
72. Fast security at the airport, when you are racing the clock. 
73. The extra security measures that pull me to the side to swipe my hands for mystery chemicals.
74. For the SLC air port not being any bigger, since my plane was at the very end!
75. The nice guy who gave me his widow seat.
76. "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele, on my iPhone the entire trip home.
77. The ability to take all my stuff as carry on.
78. Being able to see my neighborhood from the air.
79. Having a van full of kids pick me up from the air port.
80. Jessette for being the very best big sister. 
81. Having my house clean and tidy, even though I know it was full of kids while I was away.
82. For a dear friend, that messaged me from girls camp to let me know my Cookie is doing well.
83. Sleeping pills.
84. Midnight texts to make sure I made it home. 
85. Taking the day after the trip off so I can lay in bed in my nightgown, blogging! 

Purple Irises

I love Purple Irises.

When I went to Temple Square I was sure I would see them every where, as I have each time I have gone in the spring. But I was very surprised to find none in the gardens or in the square.

Do you ever think, and I may be odd here, but that God leaves little things here and their to let you

know you are on his mind, that He is thinking of you, that he loves you?!

Well I was sure there would be purple irises, for me there at the gardens. As I walked Sunday morning, every thing was beautiful, as always. Even the upturned flower beds looked lovely.

There were no irises. I looked everywhere. Not obsessively, just as I pondered.

I did alot of thinking there in the quiet calm. 

Those lessons I was taught and stored away until I are ready to comprehend them,

where put into place. I was where I needed to be that morning.

The weather was beautiful. When I was just about finished digesting my lesson from long ago, 

and blogging it, the weather started to change. It was getting cloudy and cold. And the breeze was 

picking up. Almost like I was being thanked for coming, but gently sent on my way.

As I walked back through the gardens, I tried to notice the little things, the architectural elements that may be missed, or the even cobble stones. 

The last few steps at the east end of the gardens are next to a water fall. I was thinking how it almost didn't fit, its too contemporary. But then again, it is lovely, and everyone likes different things. 

Something for everyone, right! I hurried up the steps, and as I did....

There in the corner of the waterfall flowerbed, was one Iris plant. It was purple. 

I had looked at each bed, all along my walk. And found none. But here at the very end,

was my gift, to let me know I was thought of. I was remembered. 

Tavel Food

Whenever I travel I like to grocery shop at local markets. The bakery I wanted to shop at today is closed on Sunday. So found another market.
Today's fair: fresh mixed berries, strawberry strudel, fig Newtons, chicken salad on whole wheat, stuffed grape leaves w/ feta, olives and mushrooms & water!
What a great rainy day feast!


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Location:Belt Route,Salt Lake City,United States

Moving Forward

I am sitting outside the SLC Temple at 9am on Sunday morning. There is a little cafe outside the temple walls. (It's closed, it's Sunday in Salt Lake after all.) But the spot is quaint and quiet.
May in Utah is lovely. I was sure I would find purple Irises planted here. To my surprise, there isn't one on Temple Square.
There are so many things I love about the area; the architecture, the green, all the trees and flowers. I love the feeling I have here, it's not home but it's peacefully. I have never been here alone before. It's good to be alone sometimes.
The last time I was here I came with friends. I went to the Conference Center to listen to the MormonTabernacle Choir. Then I went to church, not conference, but Sacrament meeting, with the Prophet.
I also went inside the SLC Temple that trip.
I have prayed all my life. I know God, and I know he knows me.
On that last trip I can tell you that I spoke with God. The lessons learned that day may not have been for that day. But sitting here now, reflecting, chatting with God.... I can say, the lessons were learned. The peace I looked for was given. The elements I needed were tangible and real. I know what was asked for and I know what was received. I am grateful and humbled.
As always, in my life, I wish I could see the big picture. The last time I was here I didn't think the next time would be for these reasons or in these circumstances. But, I am delighted that this is why and when!
I have always known God, I may be a little off the path right now, He and I may not see eye to eye. He has always known that I am a work in progress, obviously one he is willing to keep working on, like a hobby or an abstract art project maybe. But I know He loves me. I can see it in my life.
I fly home today. I will take beautiful memories and photos with me. But more than that I will take lessons learned and love given, and add them to my game plan.
It's time to move on, in more ways than one. Change is always good. I told God that I was tired of being strong and all that goes with that. I think I heard him say "You will be okay" !
Now I know, when he tells me that, it doesn't mean, "wait and watch". It means "go and do"!
The breeze is chilly, it's time to move on, move forward!


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Location:Salt Lake City LDS Temple

The First Time I Took A Plane

The first time I took a plane, I was 19. I was married, living in a strange, lonely little town at the tip of civilization. I was very homesick, lonely and pregnant. I remember being scared. My first flight was all alone. I was going home! That's what I kept saying to myself. "I am going home to where I know people."
I remember little else about the flight, except... The woman I sat next to only spoke Spanish and that I used every barf bag on the entire plane! No lie, well many though! I was surprised that the well dressed Spanish speaking woman knew I was pregnant.
Looking back, in retrospect, who couldn't tell that I was pregnant, too young and truly in need of a hug.
As I flew over the clouds today, I remembered that first, so long ago. I wish I could go back in time and hug that darling girl. And I would whisper in her ear..."Run now, don't look back, there is more out there"
But, then again, I ended up with four of the most beautiful, wonderful children. And I like who I turned out to be.
I went on an airplane all alone again today. My thoughts were mire "Do I pay for the extra insurance on the rental car or not", and how will my kids do on their weekend of firsts without me.
All is good! Life is good... We should all fly more often!

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A FRIENDS CHARACTER

Sometimes things happen that are completely out of character and we need to step back and watch it evolve. If we rush to fix it we may miss the "Aha" moment. And in doing so we may miss so much more!
I received a text from one of my friends today. We don't chat all the time, but we catch up on a regular basis. Although he likes to tell me that I don't know him at all, I think I know him rather well. So when the first couple of texts came in I was pretty sure I could pinpoint his mood; over worked, stressed, overflowing plate and way too much Mr Nice Guy! That fits him much of the time!
As the texts progressed I realized he was incoherent of the words I sent. He just needed to be heard. He was venting, saying things he needed to say out loud (well even text can be heard loud and clear). The more texts i received, I started to panic. The things my friend was saying were so out of character, so hard and pointed. He isn't like this, even when he vents about his ex, he is never harsh,
So as the texts came in, aimed at me, but not for me, I thought 1. What does he think I have done. 2. Is he driving drunk...it's far too early in the day. 3. Has someone taken his beloved iPhone...... If any of these options were correct, I needed to make sure he was alright.
When he answered my call. He sounded just like my friend, but as I pressed the issue, out came the story behind the texts! I knew this particular soap opera drama from our past conversations. And yes it had escalated to a point that had pushed my friend to a defensive point. I have not known him to reach this point. And rather than jumping in to aid and fix, I silently listened.
As I did, not only did I hear the drama that was faced, but also the feeling, the friendship with the drama patient, and the remedy that he was going to use to stave off the issue.
This man has been there for others when ever there is a need. He gives the advise of a counselor, and the wisdom of a Guru. But today he gave me something more. He let me be there for him.
Sometimes things happen that are totally out of character, and maybe that's when we see who our friends really are.
I know this friend, better than he thinks I do.....he has earned his Super Hero status in my book, by always being a friend. But today he let me be his friend!
Thank you SM.

My Personal Haven

Today I cleaned my house. Not a big deal, I do that regularly. I like it tidy. I like it to feel and look good. I am not a neat freak nor am I anal about my house. But I like it clean! If someone stops over unexpectedly, I want to know that I will not die of embarrassment as they walk through my doorway!
I would like to say I am good at multi tasking, but the honest description of my cleaning method, would be that I am easily sidetracked. So I end up doing ten things at a time. Normally all the things do get finished, but by the end I am exhausted.
On the weekends that my children spend with their father, I try to get it all done (the dusting, bathrooms, shutters, laundry, bedding, floors, yard work). (I even washed the lightbulbs in my bathroom today... okay maybe a bit anal)
But, there are areas in my home that I tend to neglect continually. My room is one of these areas. But today it is in great order!!! (A friend stopped in this very afternoon and I had no hesitation about letting her come right in my room to see something).
But no one, other than my children, ever gets to see my closet. I have a very large walk in closet. It actually rivals the size of Meg's bedroom. But for some unknown reason I stash, toss, shove, dump and totally neglect this one personal haven in my house.
Well, no longer! It has been cleaned, decluttered and organized. Bags for charity and bags for recycle have been filled and hauled out. All clothing is hung or folded. All shoes have a home...I had no idea how many pairs I truly have! I now have places to organize gift wrapping, gift collection, and project organization as well! It is a very large closet after all!!!
I am delighted with my efforts, and once again I love my closet! And yes I am totally exhausted!


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Trucks

I have a thing for old trucks! It's one of those things I have liked since childhood. But as an adult, my like has turned to passion. The make and model don't matter. The restoration just makes it more sweet. There is such a neat feeling when viewing an amazing piece of Americana that has been lovingly restored to it's grandeur. These old beauties are truly works of art! The lines, windows, headlamps! The hum and rumble! I have both a reverence and a red hot lust for these boy toys! I would love to own a 1936 Ford, mmmmmmm! But you know me.... I would like to touch them all!


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Leading Role

I believe that life is about happiness! The joy we give and the joy we get from those we love.

With out working on our own happiness we are not living!

We all need to take the leading role in our own lives. We all need to play the part of the main character in our world, have a say in the direction and the outcome. This will let us be a wonderful supporting actor in those lives around us. If we are not happy with the part we play, we need to tweak it, change it, perfect it. (Fake it till you make it.) Till the part is the one that makes us happy, makes us feel complete. The part that lets you be the best person you can be!

We all need to work on being happy.

It's ok....

I use to talk with God all the time. An ongoing conversation. When things were good and not so good. I felt like we worked together. Somewhere along the way, though, I started to feel like he was checking in from somewhere far away, a long distance relationship if you will. I was still faithful. I still did what I was supposed to do. I felt alone as my reality stared to fall apart, I kept doing what was right, and asking for help. Each time I asked, he would always say "It will be ok." I went for years living with "It will be ok." When you are fed that, time and time again, you tend to lose sight of what ok is, or looks like or how it feels. Yet somehow when the fork in my life happened, I was at peace, I felt good about the choices I made, all the while still hearing only "It will be ok."
I saw a councilor for a while after I stared on my new path. I wanted a road map to the future, he wanted me to explore the darkened paths of my youth. He taught me some amazing things about me. Things I could never have seen differently on my own. I did not grasp those things until some time after I told him I would not be going back. When I saw him the last time, he asked "How are you now?"... I said "I am ok."
I realized then, that maybe I had been waiting for God to help fix my issues. But maybe God was preparing me to fix them on my own.
And sure enough, it's ok, I am OK!



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Dear Best Friend

I love your thoughts! Always...always


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The Obsession

I am in love.....

from the moment I wake up in the morning, to the minute I fall asleep at night.

I have an obsession. I didn't think I would. I know others who do. I thought they where freaky! Now I know that once you get a hold of it, once your fingers start the search....its very difficult to leave alone. Its all you want to concentrate on, explore, fill your time with. I know where it is at all time, I panic if I let it out of sight for even a minute. If my mind wonders, on children or work or some other distraction, and then I regain my senses, I feel like a child rediscovering the most wonderful Christmas gift ever! It was meant to be just a tool, a needed thing...not a thing that I need.

Yet....here I am.....totally in LOVE with.....my iPhone. I may need to seek help...But John already sent me the site to sign up for classes!! YAY!!!

SUMMER CHAOS

Today is the first day of the last 4 weeks of SCHOOL! Now is when time starts to go faster and faster. Leading up to mass chaos I know the kids are looking forward to summer break...

But I am NOT. I would be a very happy mom if we had year round school. Who was this crazy person who thought up 12 weeks of freedom for the children? They end up staying up all night,

then sleeping all day. They do next to nothing as far as being productive. Its like they forget how to do chores, not like they where ever very good at doing them on their own before.

In my house they have zones that are their responsibility. They hate the word ZONE!! I try to mix it up so everyone gets a chance to be responsible for a different area each week. But I always have to lose my mind before anyone gets a clue and tidies anything anyway.

I have even planned summer lessons and learning opportunities. They don't like that AT ALL.

However, I have figured out how to enforce the lack of effort, if the "B" word is ever, ever uttered.....my poor children get an extra chore. (the B word = BOARD)

I need to put on my "Awesome Magical Sparkly Mom Hat" and start making plans for the 12 weeks of uncensored freedom.

OH MY STINKING HECK....I don't love summer break!

Letters from Children

"Dear Fellow Neighbors across the wall.

A tragic accident happened today

evan was stupid enough to through the

bat across the wall.

Please send it back.

P.S. Please smell note!"

We love to listen to the little children who

live behind us. They are delightful!

A few times a week we find a ball or toy

in our yard and toss them back over.

This week we started getting notes

as well. I am assuming the orange marker

they are writing with is yummy, I wont

tell them that it smells like grass by the

time I read it!

The simple joys in life are the very best!

Perfect For Me

I found the one thing in this world that was perfect for me.

I saw with my eyes but I knew with my heart.

All the dreams and wishes since I was a little girl, all rolled

up into one person. All the desires and dreams I have had

as a woman. All there, in one man.

I knew that this one piece would make me complete,

yet knowing full well it was just out of my reach, not mine

to have. Hoping, wanting, needing, dreaming. Praying.

I should have known it was too good to be real. Yet I let

my heart go. I gave it way, I would give it to him again

and again and again. Time after time.

Not mine to have. But for a moment I was totally loved.

Never before have I ever felt so totally loved, cared for,

thought of, cherished. I felt safe and comfortable, like I

could breath and dream. He has every quality I ever

have admired, every attribute I would ever hope for.

I gave him my heart, and he filled it. Then he gave it back.

Only showing me that the choices he makes are the right

choices, making him once again the perfect man for me.

I love you Keith. I always will. Always....

Eye Bling

Meg had brought a note home from the school recently, suggesting we get her eyes checked.

So, since this is something I have only done for myself once in my lifetime, I figured it was about time to take the kiddos.

So this week I took my two youngest with me to see the optometrist.

I really like our eye doctor, I recomend him to everyone!

I went in first. Maturity, as he puts it, is taking its tole on my vision ...

its not the first thing to go, its okay.

Mark was next. His eyes are not 20/20, but darn close!

Miss Meg was last in line for the eye chart.

As he came out of the office, the doctor asked how I felt about having her pupils dilated.

I am not real clear on why this is done, but he put my eyes through it and I survived,

so go ahead.

As the doctor went back into his office he cackled a menacing laugh,

and said he would do his best at torturing her eyes.

After the torture session, Meg looks at all the glasses. And the doctor comes to speak with me. He asked me if she had regular head aches, I said no.

He proceeded to tell me...and I quote

"Her eyes are Jacked Up".

Now, please understand, this man is delightful, just totally fun to be around.

But, I so was not anticipating those words ever being used in reference to my Angel!

But low and behold. It is true. The poor thing, just like her sweet sister, tends toward the lazy eye thing. But with glasses it can be corrected before adulthood.

So... we helped her pick out a sporty/party girl pair of bright pink frames.

We will go back to pick up her neweye BLING in a week.

I am very sorry I never took any of my children to see the optometrist before now.

But like I said, I had only been once in my life time,

and was not aware that this is a HAVE TO! Now I know!

The best part of the family outing, was not that we found the really awesome frames for Cookie, or that I will be sporting contacts from here forward. The very Bestest part was the fact that all three of us were seen for an office visit, Meg's glasses were ordered, and the Total Bill came to....

$46.00!!! WOOHOO!!!

I do so love my insurance company!!! www.thevillageeyecare.com Dr Baird

The People In Our (Work) Family

I know I have said it before, but I will say it again...
I love the people I work with!
I am blessed in the fact that I enjoy my job,
but more to the point,
I enjoy all the people I spend the work week with.
Our ages are varied, our life styles too.
We are all at different intersections in our lives.
We know enough about each other to ask about family,
events and happenings.
We are concerned about each other, support each other,
and care about each other.
Our work environment is very much a family.
One of us got married last year, we have had two new babies
born in our family, and a grand baby.
School and advancement are encouraged and celebrated as well.
I love to listen to our trainer's stories
( NO ONE tells a story like her, NO ONE!).
Our superiors are part of our family too;
they are our mentors, our grown ups,
the go out on a limb for us,
they are our biggest cheer leaders.
I have friends here at work.
And even though I would rather be home with my own,
I love my work family!

Jessette.....This name makes my heart happy.

I love that it is unique.

I love that it is beautiful. I love that it fits my daughter so perfectly.

My Jessette is so talented, so creative, and so amazing.

I am in awe of her.

She is working on her bachelors at the Phoenix Art Institute.

Her talent for art is delightful.

She has always taken the path less traveled.

And she is so much better for it.

And all those that choose to be near her

are so much better for knowing her.

Her head is on straight, her goals are set,

she is hard working and she notices the little things.

Her passions are deep and her temper is quick

(she was born with bright red hair).

She is just amazing!

She took the next step in her life last weekend.

And although it caused growing pains for out little family,

I couldn't be happier!

In fact I have been seen doing the Happy Mom Dance

0at regular intervals.

She moved out on her own.... with her best friend!

I was sad to have one more of my babies move out.

Yet she is happy, she is ready to be the grown up.

I rejoice in her maturity, in her twenty something wisdom.

I celebrate her achievement of the next path in life.

She can always come back home, so can he for that matter.

I love them both.

But the fact that my baby girl has grown up,

and is such a wonderful person is truly a

Proud Parenting Moment!

I WANT GREEN.

Don't get me wrong, I love so many things about the desert.

I love the Sunsets,

the smell of the Rain in Desert,

the Monsoon Storms,

the amazing Dust Storms.

But we have no lush green.

I want big fluffy trees, and miles and miles of green.

This is my friends land in Kentucky.

A month ago the same spot was covered in snow.

If this is what snow can do, bring it on!

Because I WANT GREEN!!!

I learned to use my new hedge trimmer this week. In my front yard, I pruned, trimmed, hedged, raked, swept and watered. I learned again that all things worth doing in life take time, thought and effort. That to achieve the results you want you will get sore, messy and tired. That what you are eliminating will fit in the trash can (two for this project). And that satisfaction comes from the amount of passion you put into the job at hand. Although my new tool was pretty much self explanatory, I did read the owners handbook. I think all new experiences need to have a handbook, with diagrams, no matter how simple the project. (And although I will never again need to pay someone else to make my yard look presentable, I still believe that yard work is a Man Job. It made a mess of my nails!)

Birthday

Brighton Lachoneus Keppner

Born at 12:45pm January 6th 2011

Weighing in at 7lb 14oz, 20" long!

I think Brighton is the perfect birthday gift for

his big brother Xavier, who's 2nd birthday is

on January 8th!!!

I am very grateful to my daughter Emmaly

and her sweet husband, my son, Trent

for giving me Grandchildren! My goal in life

has always been, to be the Grandma!

I love my children with all my heart, but there

is a special place there reserved for

Grandchildren! They make life sweet!!!

Isn't he Beautiful!!!

Chicken and Corn Chowder

Chicken and Corn Chowder

3 Cooked Chicken Breasts, diced into 1" cubes

2 cans Cream of Chicken Soup

8 cups Chicken Broth

1 16oz pk Frozen Corn

2 4.5oz boxes BC Julienne Potatoes w/Cheese Sauce

Cook and dice chicken breasts. Combine soup, broth and cheese sauce in a pot.

Mix well, and bring to a boil.

Add frozen corn, stir, let come back to a boil.

Reduce heat to medium low, add diced chicken and dehydrated potatoes.

Stir occasionally, cook for 20 minutes.

Serve with crusty bread.

New Years Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions

vLearn Something New

Faith- Relationship with God and Christ; Read Scriptures, Pray

Study Thomas Jefferson {Monticello} and Benjamin Franklin

vEnjoy More

Time with Kids; Individual and team time

Time for Me; personal and grown up

vHealth

Workout Routine; Plan and stick to a solid routine every day

Meditation; Regularly

vLove Others

More time with kids

Notes and letters to others

ARK

vTake Pictures

Of Family

Of my favorite places

vOrganization

Car Maintenance

House/Garage Organization/Routine

vSkills

Menu Planning

Recipe Files

Sewing Projects

v Simplify (Personal)

Self Pampering

Romance; Take the Time, Let Him Know He Is Loved

Hike/Explore/Indulge Regularly

Seeing things clearly!

The past few month have been very educational for me. I have learned so much about life and about me. There have been quite a few books I have added to my good reads list. I can truly say I have changed the way I see things.

I love my children! Is it possible to say that too often or too loudly? Last night I was asked who my hero's are. I ran through all the people in my life.... the answer is my children. They are so unique and strong. They are loyal and loving. The strength and teamwork they exhibit is amazing. They love each other, take care of each other, learn from each other. I am proud of each of them.

I have learned that spontaneity is something that can be seen total differently depending on who is viewing it. To some it means the lack of responsibility and no regard for reality. For me, it is the reward for a firm hold on reality and the constant attention to responsibilities. Sometimes I need it just as much as I need to breath.

I have been told by many that the Law of Attraction is something I needed to research. I have read many book on the subject. And I can tell you that whether it was to help me reach my goals or to improve my attitude, the books never hit home for me. I just didn't get what they where trying to tell me. Then I read "The Secret Laws of Attraction" by Talane Miedaner. I recommend this to everyone. It helped me to see its okay to want.... to give.... to change! I never knew that I don't need permission... but that all of this is OKAY. I am the only one that can fill my needs. That I am complete and whole. I didn't know. I though I was waiting for someone to complete me, to make me better. I don't need anyone else. I fulfill myself, I don't need anyone else to do it for me. When I have a need, I can fill it, or request it from someone else if I wish. I feel empowered and my heart and mind are, for the first time in my life, at ease. I am grateful for this knowledge.

I have also read "Finding It" by Valerie Bertinelli. Amazing!! I relate to so many of her experiences. The order of which I am doing my self exploration is not the same as hers, yet I am feeling mentally and emotionally healthy, for the very first time ever. I recommend this book too.

I have learned that taking inventory of what you want is a good thing. You may be working at something that down deep, you really don't want. Just because it is the next thing on your list, the thing you thought you should be working toward. It's okay to reevaluate, let go and move on.
My friend John has always told me, 'It's okay to say NEXT ... then move on'.
I finally get it! (On so many levels.)

The fork in my life, has lead to many more uncharted roads. I know that this journey is life long and I am so grateful for that. At this point, I can say that I have the equipment and knowledge to make it an awesome adventure.

I have been to the bottom, I took inventory there and cleaned it all out. I am grateful for my past. I like who I am because of my experiences. But oh my gosh, I am so excited for each and every day, for the little and the big. I am glad for those who accompany me; no matter how long they walk with me. Stepping stones! It is an amazing thing, once you let go of what is not important, everything becomes clear and attainable!

(I have been in my home for a year now (11/13), and it has been a Wonderful Year! I love my roommates! I am happy!!!)

Halloween

I live in the best neighborhood. There are bazillions of kid, of
all ages, and the majority of the homes are taking part in
National Beg for Candy Day. I walked a herd of tweens a square
four blocks, they came back with loads of wrapped goodness.

All is right in America as far as I can tell.

Class of 85 Reunion

6 Degrees of Shadow Mountain - Class of 85 Reunion A couple of months ago I got a friend request, on the book, from Janine Carrao. We had been friends that first bit of high school, I was tickled to have that blast from my past!

Shadow Mountain High School.....I went there for one semester.

I started my high school experience there.

As I looked out over the group at Aunt Chilada's,

a few faces may have looked familiar. But I did't know one of them.

I went to four high schools.This was the first class reunion.

It was what I though it would be. The band was great!!

Aunt Chilada's was a great place to have the get together.

Seeing Janine was really nice, I am looking forward to catching up!

Funny how bits and pieces of your life come back around.

I am glad I went, check it off my bucket list!